I’ve been threatening to do this for years. Indeed, it had a very short-lived run over at Livejournal many years ago, but it’s time.
It’s time for a blog about Breakfast Cereal. This might not be the breakfast cereal blog you need, but it’s the one you deserve.
Maybe later tonight I’ll write about why the hell I thought the world needed a breakfast cereal blog, or more importantly my breakfast cereal blog, but right now I want to talk about this:
Yeah, it’s a Batman cereal so badass it doesn’t even need to say Batman anywhere on it. Just a big ol’ Bat-symbol. Ostensibly, this is part of a one-two punch of new cereals from General Mills to take advantage of the Batman Vs Superman movie coming out. And while I have yet to try the Superman variety, I think it’s safe to say that either one of them is better than that last Superman movie. Am I right?
Anyway, I’m not here to talk about whether or not BenMan or BatAffleck or whatever we’re calling him is gonna kill people or have nipples on his suit or whatever. No, I want to talk about this damn cereal. Because CHOCOLATE STRAWBERRY. Have we ever had chocolate and strawberry combined in one cereal before? I think not.
I mean, I know we had both chocolate and strawberry varieties of Crazy Cow back in the 70’s and early 80’s and I know I mixed both of them in the same bowl while eating at my Grandmother’s kitchen table at some point.
But both flavors in one box? Madness!!
Interestingly, the new Batman cereal does not disappoint. Wait, can I even call it “Batman Cereal” since it doesn’t actually say that on the box? Is it kind of like when Prince was just that symbol and “The Artist formerly known as Prince”?
Maybe we should all just refer to it as “Batman” cereal in print, complete with quotation marks, but as you read along at home, I fully expect you to say the word Batman in a hushed voice like when Michael Keaton says “I’m Batman”
That would make me happy.
So. The flavor of “Batman” cereal does not disappoint.
It’s the chocolate really. Somewhere between the taste of Cocoa Krispies and Cocoa Puffs. In other words, a real chocolate flavor, not some weird artificial thing that tastes the way that chocolate scratch-and-sniff stickers smell. Do they even make scratch-and-stiff stickers anymore, or is that reference as old as the Crazy Cow one?
So in all seriousness, I remember a while back that General Mills was making an effort to remove artificial flavors and colors from their cereal. I’m generally ok with this idea, as long as the flavors of classic cereals isn’t altered. Don’t fuck with my Lucky Charms or Monster Cereals man. (Oooh, look thanks to the wonders of the Intertubes, I found the original article about artificial flavors: Click here to magically be taken back to the halcyon days of June 2015.)
At any rate, I bet the lovely flavor palette of “Batman” cereal is due in no small part to the use of all natural flavors. I mean, I like artificial flavors as much as the next guy, but it’s never worked for chocolate. Which for the record, is why Cocoa Krispies reign supreme as the best chocolate cereal.
The texture is pleasant. Crunchy, but not cut-the-roof-of-your-mouth crunchy. That cocoa dusting or whatever is going on is not especially attractive to look at. Kinda looks dirty or something. Like your milk-wettened little bat-symbols got dropped on the kitchen floor near where the Dustbuster lives.
*Sigh* OK, it’s good. Almost really good. I guess I’ll have to try the Superman stuff.
Final verdict on the “Batman” cereal?
It’s as good as the first time you watched the Michael Keaton Batman movie in 1989, but probably not quite as good as seeing Batman Begins.